Before I get into our journey, I want to take a quick moment to speak to all of the women out there struggling to conceive – the beautiful, hopeful, exhausted, frustrated, resilient warriors that they are. If that is you, just know…my heart is with you. It aches for you. It breaks for you. It remains hopeful for you. I’m not going to say, “I was you”…because I am you. I always will be you. Once you cross to the other side of infertility, it doesn’t erase the journey. It doesn’t erase the emotions, it doesn’t erase the hardship that you and your partner went through. It may feel sweeter, it may feel worth it…but it doesn’t go away. It will always be a part of who you are. And those who haven’t been through it can’t and won’t ever understand it. Only we do. I now may be on the other side, but just know – you are not alone. You will be joining me on this side. I promise you. And I pray that day comes in perfect timing for you. I have learned that it always does.

Even though we finally got our prayers answered & our journey to starting a family finally moved forward, I promised myself that I would always remember to reach back and help women & couples that are going through the same. Remember that what you are seeing now, is the end. The pot of gold. The testimony. But to me, it’s so important to share the beginning and the middle. The journey to starting a family is personal, and I didn’t have it in me to share our struggles real time. But I cannot and will not skip over that part of our story, because it’s how we got here.

As long as it took for us to get pregnant felt…I know that many of you are much deeper in the mud than we ever were. You are several years into this, thousands of dollars into this…and I just want you to know even though I can only relate to a sliver of what you are going through, I’m hopeful for you. I’m praying for you. And I am so sorry that you are going through this. I also pray for anyone whohas experienced loss along their journey.

I just want you to know that it’s okay to feel the way you are feeling. It’s okay to skip the baby shower, the wedding or the girls night. It’s okay to rest, to cry, to be jealous and angry for no reason at your pregnant friends. It’s okay to unfollow or mute your pregnant friends or mamas on social media. It’s okay to unfollow me. I get it. You have to take care of you, and your heart. After all, sometimes we don’t need advice – we just need to know we are not alone.

Praying for you always, sister.

XO, Stef

Well, you’ve probably figured it out by now & heard the news – we are PREGNANT! With a sweet, baby girl that will join us in early July. It truly doesn’t feel real at times – I feel so beyond blessed. Seeing the way God has moved in our lives over the past year has left us truly speechless. It wasn’t the journey we expected for ourselves, but now that we’re on the other side…I wouldn’t change a thing. My hopes in sharing our story, is to shed some light on the truth a lot of us women face when trying to start a family. My hope is to make you feel less alone and more understood. Let’s take it back to the beginning of our story!

When We Started Trying

If you’ve been around here for a while, you probably know that we were a “covid wedding” couple. We were originally supposed to get married in May 2020, and two postponements later…we finally tied the knot in October 2020 with a smaller wedding than planned, but it all worked out perfectly & we were so grateful to finally be married! As far as starting a family goes, Nick & I really didn’t want to wait very long to start trying. We both have always wanted a big family, and with our wedding delay we really felt like we didn’t want to waste anytime. After the wedding, we did the whole “not-not trying” method…we just kept it casual and didn’t worry about preventing pregnancy like we did before we got married. No stress, I knew that it could take some time…so I wasn’t too worried about it happening *right* away. We had that “when it happens, it happens” mentality! When the New Year rolled around a few months later & we weren’t pregnant, we decided to start getting a little more serious about trying. That’s when I started using the ovulation predictor kits (I used these Amazon cheapies & this more expensive digital one), was a religious logger in my cycle tracking apps (I used the PreMom app & the Flo App!) & focused more on timing to better our chances!

A Gut Feeling In The Spring

Come May 2020, we still weren’t pregnant. At that point, I was religiously tracking and we were timing everything perfectly, month after month. It was starting to get stressful. Like I mentioned before, I knew that it could take some time…but it’s hard to wonder why it hasn’t happened yet if we were both healthy & had been timing everything right. In May, I made an appointment with my OBGYN for a trying-to-conceive consult to make sure I was tracking correctly & to see if there was anything we could do to optimize our chances in getting pregnant. She assured me that it was normal for it to take some time & that they couldn’t really recommend any treatments or medications until we were 1 year deep in trying. But I just had this gut feeling that it was going to be a longer road for us & that something may be in our way…so I kept advocating for our future family & decided to explore further. With the family size we are wanting & me approaching 30, I didn’t want to waste anytime.

Testing Starts & Some Concerning Results

In June, I ordered a Modern Fertility At-Home Fertility Hormone Test to get the ball rolling to hopefully see if there were any major red flags. I didn’t want to rush to a fertility clinic or specialist just yet, and I figured this would be a good baseline to see if my gut feeling had any truth behind it. I got my results back, and everything was great except for one thing: my AMH level, which is the Anti-Mullerian Hormone. AMH is released by the cells around your follicles and is the most important hormone to test when it comes to your fertility. It tests your ovarian reserve, which is basically how many eggs you have left. My AMH level came back as “slightly low” – and honestly, I didn’t know what AMH was or how concerning a low number would be. After some research, I got a little nervous. According to some studies & charts I found through Modern Fertility, my egg count was equivalent to the average 41/42 year old’s egg count. I’m only 29, so it was concerning to me given the family size we wanted – especially knowing that my mother went through menopause in her early/mid 40’s. After getting those results, I decided to start the search for a fertility specialist so I could get some repeat testing & recommendations, given my situation.

“October”: Hearing God’s Voice

In-between the Modern Fertility test & finding a fertility clinic, another cycle had gone by & my period came like clockwork. I was starting to feel frustrated. I had been leaning into my faith more than ever. Praying more than ever. Reading the bible more than ever. Going to small group. I had read & finished an amazing book called “Walking With God: How To Hear His Voice”, and while I loved it – I was frustrated. I wanted to hear God’s voice. I wanted a clearer vision of the plan He had for me. I even brought up my frustration in small group one night – I would hear so many people say they heard the voice of God, but I never had. And in the season I was in, I really wanted to hear from Him.

It was a day in June. I don’t remember if it was the day that I started my period so I was a little down, or if it was just a random day…but I remember the exact moment. I was in our bedroom putting laundry away. I wasn’t praying, I wasn’t asking God to speak to me…I’m not even sure if I was thinking about fertility & our journey in that moment. As I was putting a piece of clothing away in my top dresser drawer, the word “OCTOBER” overcame me. I didn’t “hear” it…I just felt it. It was loud, without being loud….if that makes sense. I remember thinking in that moment, “it’s not going to happen until October.” Hearing that, on that day in June…I was frustrated. October seemed SO far away. I didn’t want to wait that long. I was a little down but still hopeful. I wrote down what I heard so I wouldn’t forget, while still hoping we would get pregnant before October.

Dr. Crawford To The Rescue

It’s a pretty crazy story on how I found my fertility doctor, Dr. Natalie Crawford! I had actually been following her on social media for a while, but didn’t make the connection that she was Austin-based and had her own fertility clinic in the area. I stumbled across Dr. Crawford on social media when I was researching on whether or not to get the Covid vaccine while trying to conceive. She was an INCREDIBLE, reliable resource for all things fertility, but especially the Covid vaccine & trying to conceive. After listening to her podcasts & watching her YouTube videos, I decided to get the vaccine in April. She is the *sole* reason I felt comfortable and confident with my decision to get vaccinated. I’m so grateful for her. So when I finally put two & two together and realized she was Austin based, I was THRILLED. It felt meant to be. I reached out to her clinic, Fora Fertility with full expectations of a long waitlist because she was such a reputable doctor, but God was looking out for me…and I got in right away.

Let The Testing Begin!

I was so impressed at how quickly Fora & Dr. Crawford moved throughout the entire process. They didn’t waste any time. The first step, which was in July, was to have a virtual consult with Dr. Crawford, where she got to know our story, asked about our family goals & talked next steps. After the initial consult, next steps were for Nick & I to both come in for bloodwork & Nick had to turn in a sample for a semen analysis to check his side of things. Our results came back & everything was normal and healthy – aside from my AMH level, that was confirmed to be lower for my age. Dr. Crawford did an amazing job of explaining to me what my AMH level meant for our future family. She explained that it didn’t necessarily impact my fertility now, but more so in the future. It basally meant that I had less time than the average 29 year-old to conceive a child. We are all born with a certain amount of eggs (like, a million!), and each cycle, that number goes down. There’s no way for that number to go up. It had nothing to do with my egg quality or ability to pregnant – but everything to do with my reproductive, fertile window. Basically, time was the biggest stressor at this point. We have much less time to conceive a baby than the average couple our age.

After our testing came back & there were no major red flags impacting our ability to get pregnant in that moment, the only test left for me to do was an HSG – which is a Hysterosalpingography. I got this done in August. It’s a procedure that is used to view the inside of the uterus & fallopian tubes, to indicate if there are any blockages or reasons why a fertilized egg may not be implanting into your uterus. They use a small tube to inject dye into your tubes & uterus that can show if there are any blockages from an x-ray. I was really nervous for this procedure after reading some things on the good ol’ internet about it being painful…but good news, it wasn’t bad at all for me, and my results came back clear. I was grateful for a clear and healthy uterus & tubes…but now I was just really confused. Why weren’t we getting pregnant?

Time To Craft A Plan

When August rolled around and we had completed all of our testing, we were officially a case of “unexplained infertility”. No major red flags or big reasons answering why we weren’t getting pregnant. It just wasn’t happening for us. So we sat down with Dr. Crawford and crafted a plan. We decided that given my low AMH levels & the family size we were wanting…it was time to explore some fertility treatments.

We talked about going straight to IVF, just so we could freeze my eggs/embryos, and never have to worry about my egg count again, but we wouldn’t have any insurance coverage yet…and IVF is tens of thousands of dollars. Other options were to try a fertility medication like Clomid, try an Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), or a combination of both. Dr. Crawford recommended going for the combination – a medicated IUI cycle. I like to describe an IUI, like a turkey baster pregnancy, lol! This is where they take Nick’s sperm, clean it & find the “best players”, and insert them straight into my uterus giving them a head-start in the game. Even with the head start, there really is only a 10% increase in your chance of getting pregnant with the IUI. Dr. Crawford was very transparent about that statistic, which I appreciated – so we wouldn’t get too excited or hopeful. We had set the plan to try for our first IUI cycle in September. We were hopeful, ready & excited for the opportunity to try something new.

Curveball In The Plan

Due to some travel we had planned in August & September, and my period starting earlier than expected…timing was off for the IUI cycle. So, Dr. Crawford gave me an option to start birth control, yes birth control – to essentially “pause” my cycle, so we could gain complete control of timing and still not be totally out this month for an IUI. Basically, the birth control would prevent me from ovulating, and as soon as I stopped the pill – I would hopefully ovulate. I was not excited about going back on the pill. I had been off of it for over 3 years because it made me crazy after being on it for 7 years. But, I would do anything for this baby. I didn’t want to lose another month. So, back on the pill I went, for about two weeks.

Once we were back in town & ready to proceed with the medicated IUI cycle, I had an appointment with Dr. Crawford to see if the birth control worked the way it was supposed to. And we quickly found out via ultrasound, that it didn’t. The birth control wasn’t strong enough to stop my body from ovulating, and the day we did the check-up ultrasound, I was told that I would be ovulating either that day or the next. It was too late & we missed our window for the IUI. Dr. Crawford said to go home, do it the good ol’ fashion way…and maybe this would be our month. And if it wasn’t, we could pick back up with the medicated IUI cycle in October. Truthfully, I was excited. Maybe this was all part of God’s plan…what were the odds that the birth control didn’t work?! How amazing would it be, to conceive naturally the month before we were planning to start fertility treatments?! Well, we tried the good ol’ fashioned way & timed it all perfectly…and it didn’t work. September wasn’t our month. So, we would try for another IUI cycle in October.

Game Time

October rolled around, and we were ready for our IUI cycle. I had mixed feelings about it being October. How amazing would it be if this was our month? What a testimony it would be to the voice I heard back in June. But what if it didn’t work? I didn’t want to question God and my faith, but how could I not if it didn’t work after hearing what I thought was his voice? I was nervous, but again…hopeful. We had so much prayer surrounding us in the month of October and we felt stronger than ever. Here’s how our medicated IUI cycle went:

10/6/21: Baseline appointment at Fora to make sure all is good & healthy to start the medications. Green light, let’s go! I picked up my Clomid, which is a medication that can help women ovulate if they don’t on their own. Since I had no problem ovulating, this would just essentially make me “super-ovulate” and increase the amount of eggs that could be fertilized. That is also why I had to sign a bunch of papers stating I understood the increased risk of multiples! We’ll take whatever God gives us, lol!

10/12/21: Another appointment at Fora after I had completed my 5 days of Clomid. We needed to check my follicles to make sure they were healthy, and that there weren’t too many that could lead to a high risk pregnancy. I had three juicy follicles, which was great. Anymore would have been too many. We got the green light to continue and administer my trigger shot the next night, which was two nights before the IUI.

10/13/21: Nick gave me my trigger shot in the evening, two nights before our IUI cycle! This was a shot in my abdomen that basically forced my body to ovulate, so that the timing of our IUI procedure the next morning would align perfectly with when my eggs would release to meet Nick’s sperm.

10/15/21: IUI DAY! We went in early, dropped of Nick’s sperm sample to get cleaned & sorted through…and went back an hour later for my procedure. It was quick, painless – kind of like a pap smear. Just a little uncomfortable. Then, we were on our way! I was prescribed progesterone suppositories to take the entire two weeks to help create a healthy environment for an embryo to implant into. The two week wait had officially begun…the hardest part of it all.

The Two Week Wait

The Two Week Wait, or “TWW” is a term in the fertility community that is dreaded by all. It’s the two weeks that you have to wait to test, after a potential conception. Who knew 14 days could be so long. You are filled with fear, hope, anxiety, over-analyzing every little symptom you may or may not have during that time. Unfortunately, Nick had to go out of town the last week of the TWW, leading up to our testing day, which was October 29th. Luckily, my mom came down to stay with me & help keep me busy and distracted leading up to test day. Truthfully, I didn’t feel like it was our month. Sure, I had headaches, increased emotion, some cramping and exhaustion…but I’ve felt like that every cycle for the past year. I was tired and losing hope. I wanted a big, loud symptom that would put me at ease…but I didn’t get one. I didn’t think we were pregnant, and I just wanted Nick to get home so we could test & move forward.

October 28th, 2021

Nick got home the evening before we were supposed to test. In my situation, it was super important to not test before the two weeks is up – because the hormone in my trigger shot, HCG, is also the hormone that triggers a positive pregnancy test. So, false positives were likely if you didn’t wait the full two weeks for the trigger shot hormone to be out of your system.

Because we are impatient, we decided to test really late the night before were were supposed to. What’s a few hours anyway..right? haha! We had just finished a big conversation about moving straight to IVF if we weren’t pregnant…because I just didn’t feel like I was pregnant. I guess I was so used to negative tests, that a positive seemed impossible to me.

It was about 10pm, and we went into the bathroom to test together. I peed on the stick, we waited the three minutes….and praise God, October was our month.

We were pregnant!

Getting Our First Positive

It didn’t feel real. I was sobbing, fearing that the trigger shot was still in my system – I was truly in denial. After so many negatives, seeing two little pink lines seemed like a dream that would never come true. But God showed up, he answered our prayers. I took a few more tests the next day – and were were indeed expecting our little baby bare.

Because I was at a fertility clinic, we got a lot of extra attention and time with the doctors & nurses. I got to go in right away for a blood test to confirm the pregnancy, and I actually had my first ultrasound at 6.5 weeks, a lot earlier than most women get to. The two weeks I had to wait before that ultrasound were pretty anxiety-inducing. I’ve heard of so many women facing miscarriage (my heart is with you, sister), and after our long journey I was terrified of it happening to me. One of my best friends experienced a miscarriage just a couple months before we found out we were pregnant, so my heart was still heavy for her, but at the same time hopeful for us. It was emotionally a confusing time, I wanted to be excited, but not get too excited.

When our appointment came for that first ultrasound, we knew that it might be too early to hear the heartbeat, but WE HEARD IT! It was such a miracle and such a special moment. We had another ultrasound planned a few weeks later, still at Fora Fertility….which would be our last appointment if everything went well. Then, we would “graduate” and head back to my normal OBGYN. We graduated and I was so sad to leave Fora, but excited to advance to the next step in our journey.

“When the time is right, I, the Lord will make it happen.” Isaiah 60:22

^ A bible verse that got me through this past year. And it couldn’t be more true. Through the year of ups and downs, struggles and frustrations…God’s timing was truly perfect. I needed to go through this. I truly am so grateful that we did. I get to share my story with you, connect with women going through the same thing and help women who don’t go through this have perspective on how they can help them women in their lives that are. I truly believe it’s a part of my mission in life and I wouldn’t change our story for the world.

It gets better. When I told that same friend who had previously miscarried just a couple months before that we were pregnant, I honestly was a little nervous. I knew she was hurting and I didn’t want to add to that hurt. Well, I didn’t…becuase when I told her I was pregnant…her response was, “ME TOO!!!!”. Our due dates are just days apart. God is so good.

It turns out that THREE of my other girlfriends are also pregnant, two having due dates within the same week as me, and one just a month after. It all makes sense. And we couldn’t be more grateful.

I still can’t believe the IUI worked for us – we are so lucky and blessed. Yes, part of me is a little anxious about the future for when the time comes to try for future babies due to my low AMH level…but, there’s nothing I can do about it right now. All we can do is pray, remain hopeful in His plan, and I know that I have a killer team at Fora Fertility that will be there if we need them.

Phew, well, I think that wraps it up! This was just a part of our journey – I promise to get into all of the fun pregnancy, trimester-by-trimester things in blog posts to come! I’ll also be touching more on our fertility journey on Instagram so be sure to follow along there!

The journey is just beginning & I am so excited to take y’all along. Thank you for listening to our story! xo